Oblivion

After a long time, Mary and Lilianne went out on a Saturday night to dance. They were excited, especially Mary – she needed this night out. Lilianne however was in the high state of ecstasy in her relationship where she felt no need to leave her partner or the bed they shared. Seconds after the girlfriends met at the tram stop by streetlamp, Lilianne already pulled out her phone to read a text from him. Mary sensed danger when her friend looked up at her and asked:

“When do you think we’ll be done?” Mary’s eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you wanna make this night a quickie!”

“No, but,-“ Mary stopped her before she could say anything more.

“No. You will dance, drink and be fun – we won’t finish before sunrise!” Lilianne sighed.

“Okay. I’ll just text him that” but she frowned when seeing Mary roll her eyes. “What?” Mary squared her shoulders.

“I just don’t get it. Why do you two always feel the need to be together all the time? Why can’t you just enjoy the moment? You used to be more... free, fun! Now you’re all about being with him.” She waved her hand. “Or you know what, go home. Be with him. I’ll be alone tonight.” A flicker of joy and then guilt appeared in Lilianne’s eyes.

“But what about Jon, why didn’t you take him dancing?” Again, Mary waved her hand.

“He’s busy – got some project to work on. And he doesn’t like dancing.” Suddenly, there was a slight tone of empathy present in Lilianne’s voice as she said:

“Is something wrong?” Mary sighed.

“I just want a night like during those times when we didn’t have anyone. When olives, wine and music to dance to were all we needed. When we were alright, not discussing them all the time like this – and no, everything with Jon is good. He just needs his time now and honestly, he’s quite a cold nose when he’s under stress. Just kisses on the forehead.” Lilianne gasped.

“On the forehead? Girl, that’s bad!” Mary laughed.

“No, it’s not! It’s normal. I also am not the warmest when I got a paper or period due.” After a while, she added: “But then, I sometimes do wish he’d care more about things that happened to me. He does ask, but just, he hears, but doesn’t intake, you know?” Lilianne nodded and put her hand on Mary’s shoulder.

“I know.” After keeping it there for a while longer, she stole a look at her phone. “Would you mind?” Quizzical at first, Mary then understood and gave a forced smile.

“No, go home to him - I’ll be alright.” Lilianne gave a small excited jump, kissed Mary on the cheek and looked back at the tram rails on which a number 9 was sliding. They had a few seconds before it would arrive.

“Let me know once you arrive home, okay?” Mary nodded and waved her friend good-bye, watching her mount the stairs into the vehicle. Their eye contact was broken sooner than it usually would be – for Lilianne’s eyes turned to her phone and a smile caused by a nearing reunion with her beloved spread across her face. And as she watched her friend ride away, Mary couldn’t help but feel alone. It was ridiculous how submissive women are – how everything (from periods to moods) depended on their partners. She recalled the countless hours spent with Lilianne, back in the time when she still was single and Lilianne was two boyfriends “ahead” – she recalled how Lilianne crooned about the magic of sex, the wonders of penises, the beauty of her current partner’s sleep face and gave an eye-widening detailed description of the boy’s face when climaxing.

Ridiculous, Mary thought to herself, how those many hours lead to nothing and I’m not even worth a few hours of her time anymore. With that, she felt her pocket vibrating and on the mobile screen a new text from Jon appeared. She read it to herself – and smiled and staring into the device she began texting back, she began making her way home.